Just a few things…

Noah- the little boy who warms my heart with every smile, and every cuddle. Who drives me to be the best “me” I can be. The little boy who taught me what love really is, the little boy who from the moment I saw him grabbed a hold of my heart and hasn’t let go since. The little boy who is teaching me patience with every diaper change and 3 a.m. feeding. The little boy who I want to teach so many things.

So, I stole this idea from Jessica Brown because I saw this on her blog (you can read her blog here: http://www.as-for-my-house.blogspot.com/) but here is a list of things I want my son to know, things I want him to believe with every fiber of his being. Things that throughout his life I will do my best to teach him.

1.Mommy loves you more than you will ever know.

2.Throughout your life you will hear people use foul language and cuss words. Its not cute, and it doesn’t make you tough. Don’t. Do. It.

3.Treat ALL girls with respect. Period.

4.I am always here for you. No. Matter. What.

5.Hold the door for people. Especially women.

6.I am your mother first, and your friend second. Period.

7. You are SO handsome.

8.Stand up for what you believe in. Don’t ever be afraid of defending your beliefs

9.This one should have been first- Jesus loves you. This I know.

10.You are smart. People will try to make you feel otherwise, don’t believe them.

11.I will always listen to what you have to say, I may not agree with it, BUT I will listen.

12.Someday you will get married, I will HAVE to approve.

13.Follow your heart.

14.Don’t EVER use drugs. I will find out, and you WILL regret it.

15.You come from a big family – they may overwhelm you at times but trust me they love you SO much.

16.Rest. Its good for the soul

17. If anybody tries to convince you to do something because its “cool” chances are, it’s probably not.

18.Treat others the way you want to be treated. Simple.

19.Learn to cook. Ladies love a man that can cook.

20. Treat your wife delicately. She is a daughter of Christ. And a lady to be loved. Remind her every day how much you love her.

21.Enjoy your work, and you will never view it that way.

22.Be grateful for EVERYTHING you have. Nothing you have is yours- it’s a gift from God.

23.Send your wife roses. It means more than you know.

24.I WILL fail you as a parent. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you and want the best for you – it just means I’m human

25.Your a man. Embrace your wild heart, but know when to tame it.

26. Work hard. Play hard.

27.Your smile melts my heart. IT. ALWAYS. WILL.

28.You are the best thing to ever happen to me.

29.WEAR DEODERANT! one day you won’t be a little boy and you. will. stink.

30.Take responsibility for your actions, nobody controls you, but YOU.

31.Follow Jesus with ALL your heart. He will NEVER steer your wrong.

32.Take time to read. It makes you smarter.

33. Don’t believe everything you hear. –This is a big one.

34.You will have to work for what you want. Nothing will be handed to you.

35.I will always be protective of you. You may hate it, but its because I love you.

36.I will embarass you. Not on purpose, but it will happen inevitably.

37.Life is not fair.

38.Love is hard, but worth the fight.

39.Give a strong, firm handshake.

40.You changed the way I view life. Thank you.

41.Spend time in the word everyday, listening to Jesus. He will guide you.

42.Laugh often, even more than that.

43.You are a Benthall. God chose this family for you, and you for us.

44.Your cuddles are so sweet.

45.Give to others, you will recieve infinately more in return.

46.I could not be more blessed to be your mom

47.Sex is for marriage ONLY. society will try to tell you otherwise, this is NOT the case. (I’ll explain this one to you when you get a little bit older)

48.You bring so much joy to other people’s lives. Don’t ever let that change.

49.Good guys don’t really finish last.

50.Last, but not least…I will NEVER stop loving you. EVER. I am so glad God chose me to be your mother.

So Noah. I’m not promising to be the best parent ever. But I’m promising to try to do my best.

Mr. Noah

So as I’ve mentioned before, I love being this little boy’s mom. There are a lot of things I’ve learned about him so far. Such as:

Noah is happiest when he is being held (I think this goes with most babies)

He loves to look at the light (again, most babies)

He sleeps best on his mommy’s chest. When he refuses to fall asleep in the bassinet, a few minutes on mommy’s chest and boom, he’s out like a light.

He’s a pretty happy guy to be around. He doesn’t cry about much, unless he’s hungry or can’t poop. 😦

He LOVES bathtime. He can be pitching a fit and stick him in the tub and boom, he’s a happy fella.

He’s a people person. He doesn’t really care who’s holding him.

He likes to sit in his swing. He’s doesn’t like to swing in his swing – he spits up everytime and then cries. So we just let him sit. 🙂

He likes music (He listens to it when he sits in his swing.)

He’s most comfy laying on his tummy. (like his momma)

And last but not least…he LOVES his mommy 🙂

 

I love this little boy to the moon and back. And I love learning new things about him every day.I love learning new things about being a mom. I had a deep appreciation for my mom before Noah was born, but now its like a whole new world. I now understand every emotion she has ever felt. I understand why she calls and checks up on me, why she would get frustrated when I had bad grades, and why things I thought were no big deal simply, were.

So I’ve got a long way to go on this parenting journey but, I couldn’t be more blessed to be this little guys mommy.

welcome to motherhood.

so here goes. I am a MOTHER. And never in my life have I been so emotional. Nobody warns you about how you’ll cry, OH how you’ll cry. when you’re happy -cry. When you’re sad-cry. When you’re sleep deprived- cry. When you’re overcome with joy-cry. But all of these are tears I wouldn’t take back for anything. Words cannot express how much I love this little boy.

this little boy just melts my heart. I thought I knew love, boy was I wrong. I could just watch him all day long. In fact thats what my day pretty much consists of. Watching him eat, sleep, and poop. And sometimes when he’s having a good dream, I get to see him smile.

I’m no pro and I don’t have years of parenting experience, but I thank and PRAISE the Lord that he chose ME to be Noah’s mother. I know that He chose me for a reason. A reason that nobody else could fulfill. I will fall short. Inevitably. I pray that Noah will have the grace to forgive me when I do so. But for now, I’m just taking it all in.

 How did I so undeservingly, get SO blessed. oh, how my heart feels so full when I gaze upon that sweet, sweet face. I’m trying to take in every little moment because it goes by so fast. He is already growing and changing every day.

 

( I know this was a littly choppy and my thoughts were here and there…sorry, I’m a little scatterbrained these days)    🙂

Jesus.

Im here to tell you a story of how Jesus set me free

A story about how who I am today has nothing to do with me.

See, once i was lost and lonely and i didn’t know what to do

Til Jesus said come here, YOU’RE mine, im here to comfort you.

Cause there was a time in my life

When i tried to fill an inside void

I tried to fill it with things that would pass away

But you see it was then, in that moment that my Jesus was overjoyed.

Because it was then that he knew that I was just within His grasp

That the shay He once knew soon, would come to pass.

Because it was there in my darkest moment Jesus spoke to me

He said “it is by grace you have been saved” (ephesians 2:8) and that “truth will set you free’ (john 8:32)

And i said “My GOD! I don’t deserve this, you’re grace and you’re mercy

He said “You’re right but that’s why its called grace,

Thats why i laid out my arms on a cross and and Had blood running down my face”.

He said “you see In that moment when my arms were stretched out wide

And in that moment when they put a spear in my side

I was thinking of you, when there were yelling “CRUCIFY!!” ”

Because you see My Jesus knew there was a load much too heavy to carry

The burden of God’s wrath was much more than i could take, it was much too scary.

So you see my Jesus took my sin and my fake neatness

And turned it into something beautiful, so that I could boast in my weekness.

Because you see I’m still not perfect, no hardly so

But because of my Jesus those stains were erased over 2000 years ago.

So thats not where my story ends

No, thats exactly where my story begins.

Because you see every single day is a journey

See because of Jesus, i’m alive not being carried away on a gurney.

Because of my Jesus my life now has meaning , meaning so much more

My life now has meaning, more than ever before.

So my question to you is when will you let Him in?

When will you let, let your life begin?

Here is your chance

ask me anything. And I’ll give you my one hundred percent honest answer.

Sometimes

i wish I could join alice, in wonderland

My ode to Taco Bell

So tonight I got to enjoy one if the simple pleasures in life known only as taco bell. You see the Taco Bell on my side of town got “closed” for remodeling and then never opened back up. It got bought out bu somebody who then named it “The Crazy Dutchman” which is nothing at all like Taco Bell. This was the day my life was changed drastically. Because, well you see, the nearest Taco Bell is thirty minutes away. And I am a poor kid who doesn’t have enough money to drive thirty minutes every time my heart so desires Taco Bell. So when my friend Alison suggested that we grab some taco bell I was down. Sold. It didn’t take much convincing. So a good time was to be had by all. I went to Taco Bell and thoroughly enjoyed my chicken quesadilla. I was delighted. I also had an awesome time catching up with Alison. She just gets me. Things that are never intended to be funny around her suddenly become hilarious. So all in all I’d say between the Taco Bell and my amazing friend it was a successful night.

So I’m sitting here in my den watching my absolute favorite show , Brothers and Sisters although gLee comes a very close second. I’ve watched about ten episodes of glee in the past 24 hours. My mom got season one for Christmas and I’ve been sick all day so I watched glee. I’ll let you in on a secret: glee is my real life dream. If I was just walking down the street and everybody just busted out in song I would be thrilled. I would join in and sing along. Anyway I’m watching brothers and sisters now just sitting in the den with my family. I’m very hungry but I’m scared to eat anything because like I said I’ve been sick all day. My mom absolutely hates this show but she sits down and watches it every week. It’s funny really. Well I’m gonna finish watching my show and then probably go to sleep or maybe watch some more glee. Who knows we shall see we shall see

Today

So it’s new years eve and thats exciting. I guess this will be mostly for me to read later on but here goes. What am I doing at this very moment I’m helping my friend clean some furniture and get it moved upstairs. Later on I’ll be going to a bonfire ad sitting down with a few friends for new years. I’m just gonna take this moment in and enjoy it. That’s my goal for 2011, to live in the moment more. To appreciate the little things that make me happy and not worry about what I’m doing that night or the next day or the next week. This year idk what will come but whatever it is im sure it will be great. This year I want to find myself again because it seems I’ve kind if lost who I am. Ive always been sure of what I want and who I am. I want to reroot myself in what I know to be truth. Ive let myself get to a place I never thought I’d be. And that’s gotta change.

It’s been a while

So it’s been a long while since I’ve last posted a blog so I guess I’ll update you on my life. Earlier this year I started school at FDTC (Florence Darlington Technical College) and after about a month of doing that I realized that it just wasn’t for me…I really have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life but as for now I’m taking a break from school. I’m working at a daycare and I love my job. It’s been getting me thinking about being a teacher but we’ll see about that. In the past couple of months my life has kind of changed a bit. In the last couple of months I’ve graduated high school, started a new job, lost some relationships, and built some as well. It’s been kind of different from everything I’ve known my whole life but change is good. The relationships I’ve lost I miss but I’ve learned about growing up and growing apart. On the flip side the new relationships I’ve been blessed with I wouldn’t trade for the world. I’ve become a little more independent since you’ve last heard from me which may or may not be a good thing. I’ve learned what it’s like to be an “adult” a little bit more (not to say that I’m an adult because there is no way I could make it on my own right now) and real responsibility. I love my life right now and honestly wouldn’t change anything about it. I wish I knew what direction I’m supposed to be going in right now but if I’m honest I have no clue. So I guess this is my little update for now that’s all.